If You Could Get a Message to Every Person What Would You Say – HPP 81

Keith Kurlander  00:07

Thank you for joining us for the Higher Practice Podcast. I’m Keith Kurlander with Dr. Will Van Derveer and this is the podcast where we explore what it takes to achieve optimal mental health. Hi there, everyone. Welcome back to the show! Will and I decided that as we go into 2021, after having such a massive year in 2020, we really wanted to bring something that would inspire people to really jumpstart the year.

 

Dr. Will Van Derveer  00:45

Yeah. it’s been one heck of a year on so many different levels. And I know I can use some inspiration right now going into the new year. So what we decided to do here, over so many weeks of so many incredible guests that we had here on the podcast is to create a kind of a highlight reel of the question we like to end our podcast with, which is, if you had a billboard that everyone in the world would see once in their lifetime, what would you say to them? When we asked that question over the course of this year, we got some incredible, really profound answers from our guests.

 

Keith Kurlander  01:21

Right? So we’re gonna launch this off today, and ask the question, to these amazing people. If you had a billboard, and every human being gotta see it once in their life, what would you tell them?

 

Dr. Joan Borysenko  01:38

I would say, probably be a little kinder, and start with yourself, be gentle with yourself. And as you feel gentle, that will be a bomb that goes forward and touches everybody else.

 

Dr. John Demartini  02:00

I would say that the magnificence of who you truly are is far greater than any fantasies you’ll ever impose on yourself. And don’t live in the shadows of anyone. Identify within yourself what you see in those great individuals around you. And recognize that there’s nothing missing in you. You have whatever you see of greatness in others inside yourself. It’s in your own form according to your own values. Live by priority and you will stand on the shoulders, not in anybody’s shadows and you will make a bigger difference. How are you going to make a difference fitting in when you’re designed to stand out?

 

Dr. Sara Gottfried  02:37

Befriend your brain. You know, something about becoming a scholar of your brain in mind and your health. I also think marketing is really important. So I’m really glad that you asked this question about the billboard because I consider marketing to be the most sacred duty that I have. And it’s something that I do with every single patient that I see. And I mean marketing with tremendous integrity. There’s a quote that I’m going to paraphrase from BJ Fogg, who’s a Stanford professor. And he said something like, a good doctor figures out what people need, and then convinces them that they want it. And so I would say that billboards need to convince people of something that they desperately need. And I would say we need more of a focus on the brain and the mind and how to make it better.

 

Dr. Stan Tatkin  03:31

In the end, all we really care about is our relationships. Attend to them now as if they may not exist in another half hour, because that’s always a possibility. So our relationships are the most important thing to us. We know this with end of life stories. People are proudest and happiest about the relationships they’ve maintained and created. People who have failed in that area are the most tragic and their stories. So don’t, I wouldn’t wait. It seems morbid. I know this is longer than the paragraph, sorry. It seems morbid to look at your partner and wonder whether they’ll be there tonight. The reason to do it is to again break through that idea that everything is always here no matter what. It could be gone in a flash. Have you said everything you want to say? Have you really enjoyed your child? Have you really enjoyed your partner fully to where you wouldn’t regret if you lost them suddenly?

 

Dr. James Greenblatt  04:32

I would just urge parents and clinicians to understand that there are three legs to the stool. There’s the psychological, there’s the nutritional support, as well as understanding where the role of medicines or other what we call comorbid psychiatric illnesses fit in. And I think if clinicians understood that nutrition, food is medicine, then nutrition can provide relief, that hopefully more doctors will be involved in the care of our patients.

 

Marc David  05:04

I would want people to know, especially as it relates to food and body, that really the journey informs the destination. Most people want to be healthy, or they want to have the right weight, and they want to have the right diet, so I can be happy. I just say, really, I’m gonna be happy, I’m going to be the real me. And what often happens is that in order to have the right weight and the right diet, we believe I have to punish myself, I have to limit myself, I have to hate myself, I have to talk negatively to myself in somehow that journey that’s filled with limitation, extremes, extreme dieting, extreme exercise, and extreme negative thinking and talking that somehow that’s going to end up in self love. So yeah, choose to eat healthy. And yeah, work on your weight, if that’s what you want to do. But look at what the end result is, like, who’s that person that you’re going to be at the end and notice how you can start to be that person. Now, I find when I can help people do that, their health journey, their weight journey, their body image journey becomes a heck of a lot easier.

 

Dr. Rick Doblin  06:15

Your mind is deeper than you realize. And you’re a lot more irrationally motivated than rationally motivated. And that, it would be very helpful for you to do a deep dive into your mind, into your unconscious and your subconscious and psychedelics, as Dan Roth has said, LSD is a nonspecific amplifier of the unconscious. But while we talk about this, as psychedelics, everybody does it every night in dreams. It’s a natural part of what we do is to alternate between different modes of consciousness. And that this is something that the final billboard would say, and there are thousands of psychedelic clinics all over right nearby you, you can go there.

 

Pat Ogden  06:57

I mean, the thing that I feel people could benefit from is really valuing the body as an avenue of exploration and change in realizing that your body holds everything that you’ve ever experienced. So when you get familiar with it, and it’s patterns and it’s gestures, and its movements, you have so many more opportunities to grow and to change and to have a life that you wish and make you feel great.

 

Dr. Rakesh Jain  07:31

I am more than happy to tell you what I have learned in 58 years of living in two continents, and more importantly, living in two continents up here. It has been remarkable to live in two very different continents of thinking just one way and then being able to change it. Perhaps what I would say to people is this, instead of asking yourself what’s wrong with yourself, you might as well ask yourself, what’s right with yourself. Most of us are very blessed to have more right with ourselves than what is wrong with us. Appreciate that your brain will often lead you astray by perhaps making you ruminate and worry. But if you focus as much on wellness, and being a holistic individual, with a well developed spiritual life, a well developed social life, and a well developed life filled with purpose, that’s a well lived life. And should the slings and arrows arrive, don’t avoid seeking professional help of any kind. It is not only okay, you’re honoring your mind and your body and spirit by seeking the help so you can be back on your track to asking yourself every day what is right with me?

 

Dr. Diane Poole Heller  09:02

Healing is possible. And attachment as well as trauma has so many untapped advantages that we can move from our history into our present in a very different way. And we can totally learn secure attachment, at least for most of what we’re dealing with, maybe not every single thing, but it’s, I think, a very hopeful message. And I just wish we could have everybody understand that around the world.

 

Resmaa Menakem  09:29

I would say this usher in a living, embodied philosophy that’s predicated on somatic abolitionism.

 

Dr. Richard Schwartz  09:39

It would be a combination of self heals, and there are no bad parts.

 

Marcela Ot’alora  09:46

I think that we move towards having the presence of something rather than the absence of something. We can approach ourselves and our growth from the presence of something that is there that is loving, and kind and compassionate, and not from the absence of something that we need to get rid of.

 

Guru Yogi Amrit Desai  10:10

It’s only the person who sees that, the way I’m going for seeking happiness, pleasure, and fun and excitement through indulgence in sensual pleasures is not working.

 

Beatrice Chestnut  10:26

What came into my mind, which is one of my favorite quotes is, be the change you want to see. It’s like, I think if we are really on our own growth path that has a huge impact on the people around us, the world around us. And I think when we’re engaged in our own conscious development, whatever that looks like, for any of us, I think that makes the whole world a better place to be in a more conscious place.

 

Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk  10:49

Many different things are on my mind actually. One of the things that comes to my mind is something Dick Schwartz likes to say, and it says, If you knew the background of the people you dislike and hate, you knew what they’re coping with, you’d have a great sense of empathy. That we all go to the same experiences, that we’re all in the same boat in a way. And that even the most assertive person you know is dealing with the same issues as you’re dealing with. And the things that we have in common, and how kindness and connection is everything

 

Sharon Salzberg  11:28

Be kind to one another. It’s not going to make you weak. It’s going to be your greatest strength.

 

Tami Simon  11:36

Well, the sentence that occurred to me wasn’t five sentences. It was just a few words, which is you have the magic in you. There you go. Just that.

 

Jason Garner  11:47

You’re okay. You’re enough, and here we are. I think there’s just that sense of knowing that this is the human experience, and this is your life. It’s not a mistake. One of my teachers sent me a note after the election that said, we’re okay or we’ll figure out how to be okay. And I think that’s really beautiful. And I try to spend as much time as I can telling people you’re okay. It doesn’t mean you want to be here. It’s like two different things. But it doesn’t mean tomorrow you’re not going to try to be somewhere different. But right now you’re okay. And then I guess the second message would be you’re not alone. And I’ll be here with you, and Will will be with you, and Keith will be with you and all of us who are endeavoring to kind of live a more tender life, you know, we’re here, and we’re going to be together. And we’re going to find a way through what we’re feeling, you know.

 

Tirza Firestone  12:39

You are far more powerful than you now. And as you go inside yourself, to follow your heartbreak, and to follow your inner promptings, you will unleash those powers to help so many people around you,

 

Dr. Gabor Maté  12:59

Your authentic self is the biggest gift to yourself and to the world. And to know that your authenticity is in you. And if you’re not experiencing it, it’s only because at some point in your life, you’re punished for being authentic. You were not accepted. But now you can really find your authenticity and make a contribution to yourself and to the world.

 

Dr. Stephanie Dueger  13:17

I guess I want to tell them that you’re okay just as you are. Just keep on keeping on and you’ll find your own way. That’s pretty much what I want to say. Hang in there. Especially now.

 

Dr. William Richards  13:30

Be yourself and keep waking up. Don’t underestimate the contributions you can make to the world and the meaning you can find in your own life.

 

Dr. Rohini Kanniganti  13:44

I’d like to have everyone know that we’re on a hero’s journey, and that we’re all heroes walking this journey. And that we do not walk it alone, that we are profoundly relational. That the reason a table sticks together is because all of those atoms and electrons are in relationship. And this is part of the miracle of our life, in this form, is relationality. And we got this together.

 

Dr. Will Van Derveer  14:27

We hope that this inspires you as much as it inspires us to have a different kind of year in 2021.

 

Keith Kurlander  14:34

And always share this with people if you feel like what you just heard touched you in some way. Share it with someone you feel like needs to hear this. It’s so easy to just go on your phone, hit the share button, send it to somebody you love, or care about or you feel like you need to hear this information. It’s really the way that all of us can influence the world together and make a big difference. We look forward to connecting with you again on the next episode of the Higher Practice Podcast where we explore what it takes to achieve optimal mental health.